Have you ever thought about something and realized, after a very long time, that you actually needed this one particular thing? Well, that’s me. Hi. I’m one of those people...
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Two Decades with Massive Attack: What Drew Me to Them in the First Place
Well, it’s not exactly two decades. It’s probably more than that, but I didn’t realize it. This post was meant to be a way of recalibrating myself with something I’ve...
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The Bear Has Always Been Like a Mental Asylum And Somehow, I Feel Like I Belong There
And most importantly, it’s hard to organize a team full of mentally overloaded people into one unified team of skillful people. The most fucked up thing above all? You are...
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Thirty-Seven.
I tried not to care, but I couldn’t. Celebrating my own birthday has always felt strange to me. Not like something I look forward to, but something I could easily...
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Hating Myself as a Protection
This is probably the most depressing title I’ve ever written. I should probably change it to something else so it doesn’t sound like I’m desperately, and actively, looking for validation,...
The Problems with Hugs
Have you ever thought about something and realized, after a very long time, that you actually needed this one particular thing? Well, that’s me. Hi. I’m one of those people...
I Stand My Ground: The Bear Is Like a Mental Asylum Full of People With Personality Disorders [Final]
Actually, that was uttered by Jess in the series, verbatim: “people with different personality disorders.” And it proves my point from my previous blog entry. The Bear shows how human...
People Think I did it for Fun, without Knowing That I was Hurt too.
Sometimes I wonder if what I’m doing is the right thing. Defending something that may have already collapsed a long time ago. Yet here I am, still standing in the...
Breaking the Orbit
I’ve always seen my trauma as a black hole. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been orbiting around it. Seeing it, feeling it, but never daring to get...
The Slap in the Face I (Eventually) Needed
As usual, I woke up jaded, dreadful, empty. In the past few days, probably since the first session of my therapy, I rarely got overstimulated by thoughts before bed or...
How Many Layers Is Too Many?
So… how many layers is considered “too many”?5? 50? 500? This is why I hate numbers. It separates you, grades you, classifies your worth and efforts: excellent, not good enough,...